I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize