Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
