I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
