Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
this boner is exhausting
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
