omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
