If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
