Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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