ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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