I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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