Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
