No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
is it fun? or sober?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
