im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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