covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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