Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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