it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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