I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
