my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize