My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
