Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
