Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize