You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
