actually, I'm a sock model
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
