By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
