Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
no. you can't hotbox the world.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize