I love black thongs
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
