No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
