i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
