Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
