To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
