dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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