Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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