I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have aggressive nipples.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize