so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
