how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
