Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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