it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
