i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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