Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The adults are the big ones right?
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