she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
