I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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