i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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