yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
