All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
