i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So vagazzling was a success
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
