I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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