We're facebook friends in real life
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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