It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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