I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
