The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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