somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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