we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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