I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize