This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
3 2 1 whiskey
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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