i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
