Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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