the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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