Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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