the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
