I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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