And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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