I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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